Carson Gunnigle

Tears fall down the cheeks of Carson Gunnigle as she conveys the feeling of being “overjoyed” as she sat in grace for the first time.

Carson came to college much like any freshman. Hopeful but terrified. Away from family, from high school friends and from all those that know us, we all find ourselves surrounded by people wanting to know our name, our major and where we are from, but actually know very little about who we truly are. And as the days dragged into weeks Carson felt nothing but the crippling cage of loneliness, hurt and the unsettled emotion of being unknown and unseen.

The question of “Where is God in this?” filled the quiet moments in a third floor room in Boyd Hall. However, up until now, Carson struggled in the thoughts of how exactly do you know God? For she knew him as one may know the president, lots about him but only from afar. Her definition of knowing him was a list of do’s and don’ts, a rulebook of behavior to try not to make God mad, but in the trying and the striving and the performing she only felt more hurt, more isolated, and more abandoned.

God used Fall Conference 2016 as the pin that pierced the apparent suspicion that God just didn’t quite care. It was here that He whispered, “I want to know you as a daughter, I want you to know me as a kind and loving Father”. It was a switch from a slave mentality to a relationship with her Dad. The sadness she felt for so long became untrue and the pain that filled the silence for so long was gone.

No longer was Carson motivated by the fear of failure, the fear of disappointing but was rather free in knowing her true self in Christ. Things and people can barely hold a flame to the identity Jesus brings to Carson. There is no fear of punishment, for Jesus took it all. No fear of loneliness, for He is always near. Carson looks up with joyous eyes and says, “It’s so freeing to know you are loved regardless”.