Mitchell Baumgartner

If I had to say what my life was like before Jesus, I would say that I was in need of something.  I am blessed to have an amazing family, good role models and a community that cares, but something was wrong.  I had everything except what I was truly searching for.  So, naturally, I started looking for what the world says would fulfill this emptiness in my life.  

I attempted to fit into the cool crowd, tried to succeed in sports, make my name known in school, all which was unfulfilling. I was still empty and in the wake of the failure of these behaviors I shifted my focus again to selfish actions. This is when I started my long stretch of being addicted to pornography.  I went through this in stages, I first found out about it while I was hanging out with my “friends” in 6th grade…6th grade!  All through my high school years, I struggled with addiction and fear that if anyone found out, I would lose my status as the good boy. Sin had such a strong hold on me, and I tried everything I knew how to change, but in my own strength I could do nothing.

I came to know Jesus on a Sunday night my first freshman semester of college.  After weeks of listening to messages about purity, repentance, and this amazing life in Jesus, I broke down and realized I had been searching for success, love, fame, power, and wealth my whole life and continually came up empty. Even in the midst of all my sinning, Jesus died for me.  My decisions to choose myself constantly nailed him to the cross and he willingly let me. I stayed up that night until 1 o’clock writing out and confessing my sin, fully knowing that I didn’t have to carry it anymore. It wasn’t mine and Jesus had made me clean. I knew that I was going to be changed, and that it was time to seek help. Finally, I knew where to look for it.

After deciding to follow Jesus my heart has found satisfaction far more than anything the word could bring.  I realized however, that this was not a one time commitment, I had to be ALL IN!  I have made a choice that I will daily choose Jesus and he will be the center of my life. I have started breaking free from the chains of pornography, and have found community that I know I will walk with my whole life. In my searching I chose myself, but now I am found and belong more than I ever thought possible.